Keep Me Safe Inside

Sometimes I wish I could erase my memories. I remember where I was exactly one year ago tonight. I was safe, I was loved.

Now...all I can think of is where I am now and how you're not here with me. Where you should be...where you're supposed to be.

So vivdly I can see your smile and your laugh haunts me.

So vivdly I can see what you're doing, right this very moment. And I cant stand it. It feels as if my heart just may stop when these images fill my head. I can't stop them, they just force themselves in.

"A year ago, I would've never pictured my life the way it is now." & your response was, "nope! Not in a million years." I know where you were a year ago and when I read that...I know its not for me. It breaks me just a little bit more. Do you even think of me any more? What we shared? Does it haunt you the way it does me?

I had this wild, unrealistic thought today but it filled me with such hope that I don't know if I can let go of it. It was several years in the future, youd come to me. When I told you what was still in my heart, you asked, "after all this time?" & I replied "always." It brought a smile to my face. The first one in days.

Im terrified. I'm terrified that I'll spend my life alone. I'm terrified that you're it for me.

Please don't forsake me. Please don't give up on me.

"Keep me safe inside, your arms like towers, tower over me."